I visited a church for the first time and heard the pastor bemoaning the fact that someone very prominent in the church had died because she had an abortion that did not go well. She was afraid to face the church for fear of condemnation because she was pregnant. The pastor was so sorrowful and never wanted to see that happen again God does not condemn us when we do wrong. It is the devil that accuses us. Whatever situation you find yourself in, God will meet you with loving open arms like a Father.
I became a mother without being married.
I was scared of the reaction I would have from church people but I went to church anyway. One morning, about four weeks after the baby was born, I was running up the stairs to church when my leg began to ache. I entered the church and I saw a visiting pastor that day. He was calling people to the altar for prayers. He never saw me before so I knew that he had no idea how I was feeling. He called for anyone who came into the church with a pain in the leg to come to the altar.
I refused to respond. I saw this on TV all the time and I knew the script. He will pray and then ask if the pain is gone. I will be honest and say no and he will be embarrassed. Or so I thought, I did not want to go.
As I watched other people respond to his beckoning, I felt convicted that I should respond because I did have a pain in the leg and was limping the way he described. The next time he called I responded but by now everyone else had been blessed and gone back to their seat. I was alone at the altar. The pastor was asked me to walk to the back of the room and back to the altar. He did not ask if the pain was gone, instead he asked me to my hands in the air. Although I did not want to obey, I did. Then I could feel my lips shaking, my hands shaking and I heard clapping. Finally, I heard my own voice. I asked myself what was happening. Someone had put the mic to my mouth and totally unknown to me I was talking in tongues.
I felt so unworthy, speaking in tongues was not for someone in the state that I found myself. How could someone so unworthy, within 6 weeks of having a baby, unmarried, be filled with the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues?